working....working.....working

My very wonderful Aunt died a few days ago from cancer. I'm having a lot of trouble with my brain space. I'm trying to work, I'm trying really hard, but what's coming out isn't very good. It's frustrating because I know why, but there's nothing I can do about it but just get past it.  I'm trying to do that by working. See what a horrible cycle it is?
Wish me luck over the next few weeks. I need to get these paintings done.

why are people so mean?

So this guy convinced me I needed a new site, which actually wasn't that hard for him to convince me because looking at all the professional sites out there I knew I needed a serious overhaul. But now he says because I don't have the time (I told him I have a show coming up and couldn't commit tons of time to him, and he said that wouldn't be a problem) he can't work with me. Sooooooo now I have a site that's not even in service and have to find someone else that would also charge me about three times what he was going to. Or at least so he says.
Why is this online networking such a pain in the ass? I guess you invite people to walk all over you when you are not only ignorant of such things but trusting as well.
Maybe I was asking for it. I don't know.
We'll see.

.........(sigh)..................

Well i'm supposed to be working and yet am trying to figure out how to set up my website email on my computer. It's stupid and confusing and I don't know what an outgoing server is or why there's a problem with it.
Can't I just paint and hire someone to do all this shit for me?
My brain doesn't work this way.

....and more pictures

 I like showing you where pieces come from; their source. I did this print a few years ago and, thought the plate isn't finished, loved the idea. I would have liked the bird to be a little larger in the painting, like in the print, to play with scale more. But I think it turned out well.

These two are my latest, finished. Well, the one with the bird is finished. I hope to finish the green one today.

pictures, pictures, pictures!!!

I like doing head comparisons. It helps me see the tones and values that I use in my drawings but may paint over during my sessions. It helps me wheedle down the work. 

Finding out more and more every day....

Well I didn't make it into Japan, which is unsurprising since they got a few hundred entries and could only accept 15 artists. They emailed me and told me they would like to see my work as it progresses, which means they like it but they know I haven't been doing it for very long!! I was thinking about that yesterday, actually. I haven't been painting for very long. The "painting" section on my site is horribly small, and very very inexperienced looking. I majored in ceramic sculpture and printmaking, and minored in creative writing. I took one painting class in college and that was to round out my credits.
I started painting last August - about six months ago - to make my drawings on wood more marketable, because what I really love to do is draw. I'm learning with every single painting I do; I'm learning more about how to manipulate the medium to get the effects I want, I'm learning more about how to engage the paint to converse with the drawing, rather than just using it to accent the drawing. I'm learning how to bring backgrounds forward to become fully integrated with the forward subject matter, rather than thinking of backgrounds as an afterthought.
I am getting better. But these paintings I'm doing for this show are really my first attempt. I have to remember that when I get discouraged.
I'm getting closer, I think, to the work that is actually mine. The work I'm supposed to be doing, meant to be doing.
I just have to do it more; as much as I can, so I can keep learning. Each painting gets better and better. I just have to keep listening, and pushing myself, past the familiar. I'll be posting pictures soon, I think :)